Commy has been listening to one of his female friends castigating men for laughing at her so -called ‘irrational fear’ of using lifts, or elevators as our US based clientele prefer to refer to them.
She further wondered why men pretend to be so macho. After all, she argued, things have moved on considerably ‘evolutionary-wise’ since the days when our knuckle-dragging ancestors hauled their compliant (and supposedly grateful) women back to their caves. Is it too much to expect she asked, that in these more enlightened times, men acknowledge that we are now in the 21st century and lighten up a bit in the testosterone stakes?
Commy however, feels that women need to be more careful what they wish for. In fact he argues that, before women stage their emasculating interventions by (metaphorically) wrestling the remote control out of their male counterpart’s cold, dying hands, they should take a moment to re-consider.
After all, ladies, would you really want the following:-
- Your New Man agreeing to share the household chores and then providing you with an optimum flow chart for loading/unloading the dishwasher?
- Your New Man asking you to remove a massive spider from the bath … or passing you a jar saying, ‘Open this for me, wouldya honey?’
- Your New Man returning laden with goodies from the sports outlet sale and making you, ‘guess how much?’
- Your New Man keeping a secret journal of all his innermost thoughts … and then locking it away.
- Your New Man swivelling in front of a mirror in his speedos, asking, ‘Does my beer belly look big in these?’
- Your New Man agreeing that, as a couple, you do indeed need to eat healthier; before binning the wine together with the chocolate.
- Your New Man not wanting to speak to his best friend because he feels slighted that he was seen with other friends down at the pub and he wasn’t invited!
- Your New Man getting back from his gym/spa day and asking expectantly, ‘Notice anything different?’
- Your New Man coming home from work and complaining that he had to use Fat Bill’s keyboard and it was so… disgusting!
and if you’re still not convinced, ladies…
- Your New Man waking you unexpectedly in the night, wide-eyed with terror, saying, ‘Can you hear something downstairs?’