Commy has been listening to friends discussing the thorny subject of divorce.
Why is it, they wondered, that so many couples are left with an overwhelming sense of anti-climax when formal notification of a decree absolute comes through? That there is nothing to mark the end of all their hopes, dreams and expectations; not even a medal!
Commy believes there should indeed be some form of symbolic ceremony to mark the end of any marital union and wonders whether, in this world of celebrity ‘throw-away’ marriages, Reality TV is missing a trick. After all, if there is a vast industry centred around the role of The Wedding Planner, shouldn’t there be another, marking that equally important (and now almost de riguer), other rite of passage; The Celebrity Divorce?
So, for the next big thing on TV, Commy proposes, The Divorce Planner. Who wouldn’t want to see a show featuring the following:-
Decree Nisi – Re-Calling The Banns
- Where both parties signal their intention to divorce and start the auction process for selling their ‘my divorce hell’ stories to the tabloids.
The Morning Of The Decree Absolute – The Divorce Breakfast
- Formal return of crap wedding gifts to family and friends
- Family and friends give speeches revealing why ‘they always knew it would end in tears’
- Mudslinging contest involving both mothers-in-law degenerating into unseemly brawl involving both clans
The Afternoon Of the Decree Absolute - The Divorce ‘Ceremony’
- Family and friends enter the divorce ‘chapel’ and, when asked by the ushers, ‘Bride or Groom?’, choose whose ‘side’ they’re taking.
- To the question, ‘Do you reject this man/woman as your lawfully wedded husband/wife?’ the bride and groom reply ‘I do,’ before being formally stripped of their weddings bands.
- Groom returns bride to her father/Bride returns Groom to his mother (with extreme force!).
- End of the ceremony is formally marked by the Chaplain saying, ‘I now declare you ex-husband and ex-wife … you may now diss the Bride.’
Now that’s what Commy calls entertainment!
Can you spare a moment to tell your friends about us?